Learn to recognize the body language of a shy guy
When a person is shy, it can easily be misinterpreted as disinterest or ignorance. There are a lot of people that are shy, some people more than others. With this article, we’re going to help you spot the body language of a shy guy. So that you don’t misinterpret it as something else. We are also going to give you some tips on how to tell if he likes you.
It might be a guy that you’re interested in or a guy that you’re working with. Either way, it helps you to understand that person. Making it easier for you to decide how to handle this person.
What is shyness?
When a person is feeling shy. What that person is really feeling is lack of comfort or awkwardness. It’s a response to fear when being in a social situation.
Most people do sometimes feel some sort of shyness. For example when being presented in front of a big crowd it’s normal to feel shy. The difference though, is that the shy guy have more severe shyness.
Okay so everyone is sometime a little bit shy. So how can we define a shy guy?
The definition of a shy guy
I would define a shy guy as someone that doesn’t speak his mind when he wants to. Because of the fear that what he already feels as awkward, might get even more awkward if he opens his mouth. Because this person feels fear, it’s much harder for him to hold a conversation. His mind is on overload, thinking about the situation, how awkward he is, how the other people might not like him. On top of this he wants to hold a conversation. But it’s just too much for his mind. So it’s much easier for him to just be quiet.
A good example could be this. Most people feel shy when standing in front of a big crowd. Imagine the fear and discomfort you’re feeling when you stand there in front of everyone. This is the feeling a shy guy feels in a normal social situation. Of course the degree of shyness varies. But just to give you some sort of insight. Then imagine yourself trying to hold a comfortable and interesting conversation with this fear in your mind. Fear is such a powerful emotion that it makes it really hard to stay rational and focused during a conversation.
After you get to know a shy person, of course the shyness decreases or disappears totally. Then you’re often going to see a totally new person. When people get to know a shy person well, they often get surprised. Because when the shyness is fading and he start to feel comfortable around you. He’s going to start to talk more and he’s going to show his true personality. Which more often than not is a very positive surprise!
It’s easy to think that a shy guy just is ignorant or that he just doesn’t care. When he actually does care, he’s just too afraid to make a fool of himself.
Body language of a shy guy, 5 signs to look for
To make it easier for you to determine if a guy is shy, we have made a list of common body language of a shy guy that you can look for.
He has a hard time holding eye contact
A typical sign of someone that’s shy is the lack of eye contact. Because he feels uncomfortable or awkward, it’s hard for him to hold eye contact. We don’t like to look at things we fear or that makes us feel uncomfortable. In this case, by holding eye contact, he feels even more uncomfortable or awkward. The other thing is that he doesn’t want other to know how he is feeling. That’s also a reason why he doesn’t hold much eye contact. But if he likes you or are interested in you. You can see him looking a lot at you, it’s just that when you look back at him, he looks away. But if you spot him doing this, you at least know that he shows some interest.
Scratching head or neck
Because shyness is a state of discomfort. You can look for nonverbal signals of just that. When you’re uncomfortable or nervous you tend to do a lot of self-soothing behaviors. One such behavior is scratching yourself. Specifically scratching your head and neck. But also arm scratching is a common behavior. It’s a way of calming ourselves down when we are stressed. If you see a lot of this behavior you can be pretty certain that he is feeling some sort of stress.
Blocking behavior
When something makes us uncomfortable, we like to put an object between ourselves and that person or object. This could be a pillow, book or anything really. If we don’t have an object to hold on to. We can also just cross our arms, making our own shield. Some people don’t want to do such an obvious thing as crossing their arms when they feel nervous. Instead they are giving themselves other reasons to why they can hold their arms in front of them. This can be done by constantly holding a coffee mug in front of them for example.
This behavior doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, it just means that he are feeling discomfort or stress. As you start talking to him and get him to feel safe. You can see him uncrossing his arms or putting his pillow to the side.
Making himself small
A confident guy can show territorial display. Taking up much space both with his body and belongings. They can do this because they aren’t afraid of being seen. A shy guy on the other hand, doesn’t like to be seen as much. He definitely doesn’t like to be in the center of a conversation. Therefore he tend to do the opposite of a confident guy. He makes himself small.
You rarely see someone that are uncomfortable spread out their body.
Speaking quietly
A common sign of shy people is that they speak quietly, in extreme cases it’s almost like they’re whispering. This is again the opposite of the confident person, who isn’t afraid to speak out loud. The reason why he speaks quietly is the same as why he makes himself small. He’s uncomfortable and doesn’t want to be seen more than needed.
Blushing
When we are embarrassed by something or when we meet someone we like, we tend to blush. But shy people also often blushes when they meet new people, or when they feel more uncomfortable or awkward than what is normal for them.
How to tell if a shy guy likes you
Now you know how to spot a shy guy. But now to the part that some people fin tricky, how do you know if he likes you?
He looks at you a lot
When someone likes you, they can show it by holding a lot of eye contact. But as we said earlier, a shy guy doesn’t give you much eye contact. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t looking at you. If he likes you, he is going to look at you. It’s that simple. But, he’s going to do it when you aren’t looking at him. So hold an eye on him even when you look away to give yourself a chance to see what he’s looking at.
He’s much more open online
Social situations can be very stressful for the shy person, which makes it very hard to have a good conversation. But online, that kind of stress is gone. He can take as much time as he want to answer your messages. Which makes it much easier for him to open up and have a normal conversation. So if he has the chance to talk to you online, he’s going to show much more interest in you. Because it’s so much easier for him then.
Does he always seem to be near you?
He might not show his interest in you by talking a lot. But if he always seems to be around you, always sitting near you at parties for example. It’s a strong sign that he like being around you.
What does his friends body language tell you?
His friends probably know him a lot better than you, especially if he’s the shy type. Which means they might know if he likes you. Friends that are close often knows what’s on the other persons mind.
Depending on what sort of friends he has they can give you different hints. They might discreetly joke about him liking you or they might try to help him.
A strong signal that they know something is going on is if they try to help their friend getting closer to you. They might spark up a conversation that makes you two talk. They might say things like “you two would make a great couple” or they might just look at their friend while they’re smiling and teasing him a little bit. Just look how his friends behave when you enter the room and you might get some great information.
Is he friendlier to you than other people?
Does he treat you better than all the other people that are around him? Does he for example hold the door for you or are he more generous to you than others? A strong signal that he likes you is if he steps up and defends you. That’s not something that’s easy for a shy person to do. So if someone offends you and he’s there defending you. It shows you that he cares for you.
He seems to like me, what now?
If he seems to like you and you feel the same way about him. You can of course cut to the chase and tell him how you feel or just ask him out. But if you aren’t comfortable doing that, you can try to give him the chance to do that instead. By clearly showing that you like him. Try to be near him a lot and spark up some conversations. After a while he’s going to get more calm and comfortable around you and hopefully he’s going to open up more.
But don’t rush it if you just met and don’t know each other well. That might just get him feeling more stressed out. Instead slowly try to get closer to him. By looking at his body language you can tell when he’s starting to feel more comfortable around you. Then you can try to move closer to him and try to have a more personal conversation. By showing him that you like him he’s going to feel much more comfortable and confident. Which probably is going to make him make a move on you!
Conclusion
A shy person can be a little bit hard to get to know in the beginning and it might seem like he doesn’t have much of a personality. But under his shell there’s often so much more. Just make him comfortable around you and don’t push him too much and he’s probably going to open up to you. By looking for the body language signals we told you about. You should be able to see the body language of a shy guy and also if he are into you!
If you found this article interesting you might also want to read how you learn to read people’s body language.
